The top 8 reasons couples elope
Elopement weddings are becoming increasingly popular for sure. We launched our first elopement wedding package back in 2016 and since then we’ve helped literally hundreds of couples elope.
I always like to know why couples have chosen an elopement. Partly because I love to hear people’s stories and partly it helps me understand as a biz owner, what people are looking for so we can make sure we’re giving people what they want.
There have been obvious and less obvious reasons people have given for eloping. I thought it might help to look at the top 8 reasons couples elope in more depth – see if it fits with you or if you’ve got a reason I haven’t heard yet (if you have I’d LOVE to hear it).
Money
So let’s start with one of the super obvious ones – money. Obvious but important and one of the big reasons for choosing an elopement wedding. The average wedding is currently costing north of £20,000.
Of course it depends where you get your numbers from but I speak with a lot of wedding people and although the wedding publications sometimes quote a lower figure, my experience is most of our big wedding couples were spending well over £20,000. That’s a lot of money.
Now I’m in the wedding biz so I know all the reasons to go for a big wedding and the lovely S and I had 70+ people to our own wedding here in 2012 so it’s definitely not that I have anything against big weddings. But hellooooo, cost of living crisis right here and I’m hearing couples increasingly wondering why (or even how) they can spend £20,000 on a day when there are so many other calls on their hard earned cash.
Of course if you’re really paring things to the bone for your wedding, you can pop to the local Registry office and then celebrate with a cup of tea at home – that’s super cheap. That’s not what we’re offering here.
We’re offering all the trimmings of a big wedding – beautiful venue, flowers, photography, champagne, canapes, wedding breakfast, wedding cake, 2 night stay. So you can have all the things that make a wedding feel like, well a wedding but you’re not going crazy into debt for it.
So you can still have that great frock, that fabulous bouquet, that amazing wedding cake. But you’re not decorating a massive venue and you’re not feeding 100+ people so the numbers (as in numbers on the spreadsheet) are much smaller – tick for the win.
Stress
Ah yes, this is another popular one. If you know anyone who’s had a big wedding recently, you’ll have some idea of just how stressful it can all get. We’ve had couples recently who had friends who got married last year and they were first hand witnesses to what their friends went through and they thought, ‘nope, not for us thanks’ and that’s why they booked an elopement wedding with us.
What starts off as an exciting plan can turn to a serious stress fest as you try to juggle competing claims on your day. Whether it’s the budget getting out of control or interference from family or just finding the time to get all those moving parts in place when you’re holding down a full time job – it can all begin to feel like it’s taking over your life. Who needs that?
What do we offer? A stress free experience by lining up trusted wedding suppliers for you, they’re all booked when you book with us. So you make one booking and we do the rest. Photographer? Booked. Caterer? Booked. Florist? Booked. Cake maker? Booked. Accommodation? Booked. You’re getting the picture…
Basically you just turn up. Well, you do have to book the Registrars and give legal notice of marriage – they don’t let us do that bit for you. So if you do that and you find your way here, we’ll take care of the rest.
Shyness
This is one reason I wasn’t expecting when we first started elopements 7 years ago. But it’s one I hear time and again. Either the couple is very shy, or private or hates being the centre of attention. The thought of 100+ people watching them walk down the aisle is the stuff of nightmares for them.
Knowing a ton of people are listening to them say personal vows they want to keep private gives them the shivers – and not in a good way. And as I say, the two of you can go down the Registry office and avoid all of it. But if you want a private ceremony AND you still want it to be super special then maybe we’re your place. Because you can have just the two of you (plus the Registrars, plus me, plus Clare the photographer but YKWIM) to your elopement and have an amazing wedding.
You’ll see a number of elopements on our wedding gallery where we don’t mention names and you can’t see any faces. Although we ask to share your photos, of course we’re happy not to show faces if you’d prefer.
We do ask to show the details, your flowers, table setting, ceremony set up etc but if you want to keep out the picture, let us know. Thankfully not everyone wants to do that – otherwise you wouldn’t be seeing all our great pics which help you decide whether you want to get married here! But we have enough couples willing to share to make it easy for us to say no problem to those who don’t want to do that.
Family abroad
We’ve had a number of couples get married with us whose family or families live abroad. Flying one or even two sets of families half way across the world or even just across the Channel doesn’t come cheap and it’s a big ask for a load of guests to travel from one place to another place where only the couple are located. And there are numerous reasons our couples don’t want to get married abroad. So getting married here with a special celebration and just the two of them – that works for them.
Many times they’re planning a celebration in their home country or countries with a load of people but the legal marriage is done with us.
Tricky family
You knew this one was in there didn’t you? Yep the ole family issues. Trust me when I say I’ve had to become an expert on people’s family dynamics over the years. We’ve seen pretty much all the tricky things families have to offer. I could be a UN diplomat with those skillz.
Sometimes couples start off with plans for a big wedding and the family stuff starts to get ugly early on. Arguments about guest lists, who’s baking the cake, who’s going to stay where, suggestions (or worse, actual instructions) about wedding dresses, venues, entertainment, menus. Pay for play, where a family member pays towards the wedding and there are a ton of strings that come attached to that. Oh yeah, we’ve seen them all. And when the temperature rises, some couples are lucky enough to be able to spot it early, jump ship and downscale to an elopement wedding. Job done, bullet duly dodged.
Other couples already know in advance what a nightmare their family is going to be so they don’t even think about a big wedding. It’s straight to an elopement for them – they can see that trouble coming down the track and they’re not about to get started with it. Swerve to avoid.
Some people don’t have a tricky family, maybe you don’t have people you call family for whatever reason. That’s ok, you can join the Ever After family for the day and be with people (us) who appreciate the two of you and will help you have a great day with no worries.
Your family doesn’t even need to be difficult to be tricky – maybe its the sheer size of your family that makes a big wedding a logistical nightmare. Aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, that couple your parents see on holiday every year. That kind of wedding quickly fits into the stress category too…
I say offend everyone equally – don’t invite anyone. Just have the two of you. And breathe easy. We can be your witnesses, don’t worry about that. Throw a big bash later if you want to (some do, some don’t) but the pressure’s off coz it’s not a wedding, it’s just, well it’s just a party which is soooo much easier. But we make life super easy for you by allowing 6-10 guests (depending on the month) so if you reeeeaally need to invite a few people, you can do that.
Second time around
I thought this was going to be the biggest part of our elopement weddings, second weddings. Of course we love our second time arounders – both the lovely S and I are second time arounders so we’re big advocates. But it’s much less a part of our business than I thought it would be and that’s been a surprise.
Some couples getting married for the second time want to bring both families, maybe adult children, maybe grandchildren. Some don’t, some just want the day to be about the two of them without having to think about other people for once. Sound like you? Maybe this is the place for you to get married.
Speed
Another big reason for people to elope is how quickly you can organise an elopement wedding. We’ve organised big weddings quickly but it’s super easy to arrange an elopement quickly. That doesn’t mean you can get married tomorrow or even next week – there’s paperwork. Not our paperwork but legal paperwork as you have to give at least 28 days legal notice to marry. There are exceptions for serious illness but I’m hoping that doesn’t apply to you. So 28 days is the quickest you can do. Most of our elopements book with more notice than that. I’ve even had my first 2026 elopement enquiry, yep a full 3 years in advance. If you don’t have that kind of time, no problem – we can get everything set up for you in those 28 days.
Because you don’t have any guests to check the date with, you can agree a date to suit the two of you. We make it super easy for you to check if we’ve got a date to suit you. You can check our available dates right this very minute on the availability calendar. If you do have guests, there aren’t many people to check with. And then you don’t have to wonder whether the suppliers are free. As I said earlier, we take care of all of that for you. They’re booked.
So all you’re looking to sort is your outfit for the day and any wedding rings. Most couples do want to have a special outfit and most couples have rings. So organise those 2 things and you’re good to go.
Furry friends
And finally, another one of the biggies why couples get married here. You can bring your pet(s) – yay! You know that thing where a restaurant says you can bring your dog but when you turn up you’re sat in a different room & it doesn’t feel dog friendly at all? We don’t do that. Bring your dog(s). Yes we have a pet policy (see it on our FAQ’s) but so long as your dog is well behaved and friendly, they’re welcome.
Invite them to the ceremony, they can be a ring bearer, stand with you during the vows, walk out with you, do confetti, have them in the photos. We even had one couple bring their own canine canapes recently. They can sit under the table whilst you’re eating, curl up in front of the fire for the evening. Basically, totally share your day.
We can make recommendations for dog chaperones. They can take care of your pooch for part of the day, get them groomed in readiness, take them off for a doggy hotel stay for the night if you prefer. The florist can make up flower collars, they can have a special outfit – it can be a whole thing. Or not, if you prefer, you can just bring them along for the ride.
Disclaimer
I was very excited to write this blog post and talk about the different reasons couples elope. Then it came to choosing the photos to go with the post and I hit a crisis – what if people thought the couples in the photos were shy, had difficult families – yikes. Soooo, big disclaimer here – none of the people you see in these photos may have the reasons I’ve given. So the photos have nothing to do with the reasons – just to be clear. Phew.
So hit me up with your reasons for eloping – have I covered it here? You got another reason? Lemme know! [email protected] and let’s talk about your elopement.
See more of our elopement weddings over on the gallery.
All photos our Clare Kinchin.
All cakes Boo To A Goose
All flowers Flowers et al
